The rest of the shopping proceeds uneventfully and you make it back to your new home with enough groceries to get you through the weekend, even if it will be only sandwiches and beer.

Feeling exhausted, you thank your fellow teacher for helping you out and then go have a nap.

The nap refreshes you and you wake up fully alert and exceedingly hungry, so you begin the sandwich preparations.

The tubed sausage turns out to be bright pink and the consistency of play-dough left out of the container for too long. Figuring that it certainly isn't "ready-to-eat," you fry it up. Despite oiling the pot (you have no pans), it sticks to the bottom as if pulled there by a powerful "meat" magnet. Shrugging, you scrape the mangled mass onto some bread, slice some tomatoes, and wash some lettuce. After applying the requisite vegetation, you go about slopping on some mayo. Then comes the mustard. Still curious about it, you scan the bottle more closely. The bananas pictured on it soon give away the fact that it is not mustard at all, but banana-flavoured mayonnaise. You:

shrug again and liberally apply it to your already unappetizing creation.

sigh, toss it aside, and eat your sandwich mustard, and banana, free.