TheGreatKorean ChooseYourOwnAdventure

2005-05-23T00:26:00.000+09:00

Hello!

Welcome to my choose your own adventure, Korean style. Before starting, please keep in mind that, though much of what follows is based on things that actually happened, much isn't and thus, this is a work of fiction. As well, the things that are based on real life are exaggerated and if I could, I'd stamp the word DRAMATIZATION across every page.

Also, now that it is done, don't expect much in the way of updates to this blog. For those, come to my actual blog.

Remember, this is all in fun. It is not meant as a literary work or a social critique or a record of a real experience. It is an entertaining trip through some possibilities, many of them far-fetched, in Korea.

Finally, you may note that I have disabled the comments for this. If you have feedback or just want to share your thoughts about the story, send them to my email on the side-bar.

Anyway:

CLICK HERE TO BEGIN.

Enjoy!

2005-05-23T00:03:00.000+09:00

You wake with a start. You fumble a bit, then realize that you are in your bed, in your apartment, in your home country.

The dream you just had is so vivid in your memory that you decide right then to go through with your idea to teach in Korea for a year. You realize that nothing can ever go quite as perfectly as your dream did, but you feel that this dream was a positive sign of some sort and if you don't go, you will forever regret it.

The adventure begins.

2005-05-22T23:55:00.000+09:00

Japan is brilliant. You have plenty of time to explore the places you really wanted to see and you and your friends have the best vacation of your lives.

You return to Korea feeling rested and ready to tackle the final months of your contract.

Work continues to go smoothly and a second foreign teacher is brought in to alleviate your workload. Enrolment at the school steadily climbs and a new director is also brought in. You are given the title of Head Foreign Teacher and continue with your strong influence on curriculum and class organization.

Outside of work, the band continues to grow in popularity and be in demand for festivals and clubs. Having another foreign teacher at your school frees you up a bit to go to these shows.

Soon enough, the year is over. Your school offers you a contract renewal with a significant raise and a move to better quarters. As well, they throw in some extra vacation days for you to use at your discretion.

It doesn't take long for you to make a decision. You may miss you friends and family at home, but things are going so stupendously here it would be silly to just leave right now. You sign the new contract and continue your implausibly spectacular adventure.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T23:51:00.000+09:00

Soon enough, your vacation time arrives and you, along with your friends, enjoy a really great, if brief, time in Japan.

After the vacation, you feel pretty tired, but plunge back into work and time goes by quickly.

Before you realize it, your year in Korea has passed. Things didn't always go smoothly, but all in all, you feel it was an experience you are extremely happy to have had.

You return to your home country feeling good about yourself and ready to start your "normal" life again.

You have successfully completed your adventure.

2005-05-22T23:49:00.000+09:00

Your patient and thorough explanation eventually wears him down. He agrees to give you a full week off and will even fill in for you himself while you are gone.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T23:47:00.000+09:00

He listens and attempts a compromise, offering you another day later on, but sticks to only giving you two days at this point. You:

accept the third day, but ask to have it at the same time as the other two.

push a little more for a full week, explaining the unfairness of the situation.

2005-05-22T23:40:00.000+09:00

You heatedly explain that it is patently unfair for you to have had your vacation days deducted from you without being told they were.

He tells you that, in Korea, this is how things work.

You tell him you think he is a liar because you know of many other foreign teachers who take a full week off for their holidays. You demand he let you do the same.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T23:38:00.000+09:00

He sighs, puts his hand to his head, then pleads with you to take the two days and save the other one for another time. You:

refuse and get angry about having your vacation days deducted from you without your knowledge.

reluctantly agree.

2005-05-22T23:32:00.000+09:00

He waits for you to finish, then pulls a sheet of paper out of a drawer. It is a calendar of sorts which marks the non-national holiday days, as well as the two sick days, you have had off of work since your contract began. The total is seven. He then points out that your contract gives you ten days, outside of national holidays. This leaves you with three days, not enough for a full week. He then returns to his original argument that he can't justify closing the school for that long. The students parents would think it had closed and take their children to a different school. He then offers you the same thing as before; two days, one on each side of a weekend. You:

accept the reasoning and the offer.

ask for all three days at once.

get angry about having your vacation days taken from you without your knowledge.

2005-05-22T23:16:00.000+09:00

He hears you out and, despite his prior assertions, decides to allow you to take the day off and go, but it will be taken out of your holiday time. You agree that this is only fair and thank him for changing his mind.

Soon enough, the day arrives and you and the band make your way to the festival. You wander around for a few hours, do a sound check, listen to the bands performing before you, then take the stage.

The performance goes flawlessly, although they surprised you with some unanticipated pyrotechnics. The crowd really enjoys it and they call you back for an encore.

Excited, tired, and moderately smelly, you all pile back into the lead guitarists car and head home.

After the festival, you begin getting calls to do shows at bars in nearby cities like Daegu, Busan, and Ulsan and spend most of your weekends in those cities.

Things are really busy for you at work and outside work and within a few weeks you feel you need a vacation.

You go to the owner to book your days, having decided to go to Japan with a couple of the other foreigners in town.

You ask the owner for a week off thinking that, with the loss of one day for the festival, you should still have 9 days remaining.

He gives you a strange look, then tells you that you actually only have two days left. He shows you a calendar which marks the days the school has been closed since you got here, outside of weekends and national holidays. The total is seven. Adding the one for the festival, that is eight days out of your holidays leaving you with only two. You:

protest having your holidays deducted without your knowledge.

deflate a little, but take your two days, one each on either side of a weekend.

2005-05-22T23:09:00.000+09:00

After the lack of a show for you and the band, practices sputter, then stop altogether. You feel a little sad about it, but it does give you more free time and is one less thing to worry about.

You work a couple more weeks, then decide it's time for a vacation. You have already decided on Japan as your destination and are planning to go with a couple of your fellow foreign friends from another school.

You go to talk to the owner about booking a week off, with the experience of your last encounter with him fresh in your mind.

Again, he tells you that a full week off would be impossible. He tells you that, as you are the only foreign teacher at your school, there would be no way for you to go away for an entire week without completely disrupting the entire school. He says he is willing to give you two days, one on each side of a weekend. You:

accept his logic and his offer.

argue about it, demanding a 'real' vacation, like all the other foreign teachers in Korea get.

2005-05-22T23:02:00.000+09:00

The day comes and calling in sick goes as expected. He is very angry and orders you to come in to work, knowing full well that you are not sick. You fake a cough, tell him "no," and hang up the phone.

You and the band make your way to the festival, enjoy the bands on before you, then take the stage. The first two songs go flawlessly and the crowd really seems to enjoy the performance.

The third song starts out well, but part way through you stumble on a loose cord and lurch to the side of the stage. At that exact moment, some pyrotechnics erupt right next to you, igniting your clothes, guitar, and hair. You scream in pain, flail, and fall off the stage. Before anyone can get to you with a fire extinguisher, the fumes from your own burning clothes and flesh asphyxiate you.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T20:06:00.000+09:00

Just because the school is now director-less, you don't think it should be direction-less, and you assert a bit more authority over the curriculum and classes.

Within a month, you have the school organized to your satisfaction and find that more and more students are enrolling, making things rather busy.

However, you still have time outside of work to continue playing with the band. You have built up a decent local following and are seriously looking to expand that to other, bigger cities.

Soon, an opportunity arises to do just that. A big, multi-university festival is being held in a national park a few hours away and they would like your band to play as the final act of the evening.

You are really excited about this. However, the details of the show soon become more clear.

It is taking place on a Wednesday, during the middle of the day. In order to go, you will have to book the day off.

You go to talk to the owner and he tells you that it would be impossible. He would have to shut the school down for a day and he is not willing to do that. You ask about what happens if/when you call in sick and he tells you that the Korean teachers would fill in the missing time. You ask why that can't happen this time and he just tells you again that it would be impossible.

You leave his office frustrated and a little bitter. After a few days of thinking things over, you decide:

go back to the owner and explain how hard you have been working lately and that you really deserve this day off.

to call in sick on the day of the show and go anyway.

put aside your quest for musical fame in Korea, work that day, and take a really good holiday later.

2005-05-22T19:56:00.000+09:00

Though the late pay and lack of washing machine continue to frustrate you, you are content with your situation and the Ulsan opportunity is quickly forgotten.

The next few months pass by with the school director-free and a bit direction-less. However, you and the Korean teachers are able to keep the classes going with no real problems.

You and your band continue to practice sporadically, but there is suddenly an opportunity to play at a big festival at a national park a few hours away. At first, you are really excited about it, but over the weeks before the show, details about it become clear.

It is taking place on a Wednesday, during the middle of the day. In order to go, you will have to book the day off.

You go to talk to the owner and he tells you that it would be impossible. He would have to shut the school down for a day and he is not willing to do that. You ask about what happens if/when you call in sick and he tells you that the Korean teachers would fill in the missing time. You ask why that can't happen this time and he just tells you again that it would be impossible.

You leave his office frustrated and a little bitter. After a few days of thinking things over, you decide:

to call in sick on the day of the show and go anyway.

put aside your quest for musical fame in Korea, work that day, and take a really good holiday later.

2005-05-22T19:50:00.000+09:00

You tell the owner that, due to the lack of prompt pay and insufficient housing, you have decided to try your luck in Ulsan. By the end of the week, a replacement for you is found and you are in Ulsan.

The school is terrible and the students are mean-spirited. The owner is a jerk and tries to scam you out of pay. The apartment is marginally nicer, but significantly smaller than your last one. It takes only one month in this hell-hole before you decide to give up and go home filled with anger and self-chastisement.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T19:38:00.000+09:00

And so it is. Every month you are paid in full, but never all of it on time. At times it is very inconvenient and frustrating, but there appears to be nothing you can do about it and you do always get every penny that is due to you.

Other than this, things are going pretty well. You've met up with a group of other foreigners in town and spend much of your free time with them. You have also formed/joined a band with one of your adult students. Practices are infrequent and the song choices are hit and miss, but it is a fun diversion. There's much talk about getting a gig somewhere, but you doubt much will ever come of it.

The work environment is good and, while there isn't much socialization, you get along well with your fellow teachers and the director. At the end of your seventh month, though, the director surprises you by telling you that she is leaving the school for another one in Ulsan and she wants you to come along.

You are tempted by the possibility of a better apartment and prompt pay, but this is balanced by the thought of uprooting yourself and having to go through all the paperwork for a new contract and work visa. You:

decide that things are good enough to here to not bother with the hassle of moving and extra paperwork.

figure that a better apartment in a bigger city and pay that comes on time is incentive enough and you take her up on her offer.

2005-05-22T19:30:00.000+09:00

She nods, but says she needs to know by the end of the week. You think for a few days and decide to discuss the dilemma with the owner.

He is very surprised. He says that, yes, the school has some money issues, but there is no reason for you to leave. He offers you the class at the other school again to get you some more money and says he will try to work out better vacation time for you. He looks close to tears as he tells you this and this tilts the argument in favour of staying. You tell him this, then borrow his phone to tell the director of your decision. The owner seems visibly relieved and thanks you profusely for staying.

You get up to leave his office and, as you reach the door, he says that due to the money issues, he will be a little short on your pay this month but will get the rest to you a little later. Also, again due to money issues, he had to sell your washing machine.

Feeling a bit perplexed about whether you made the right decision, you go up to your room.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T19:12:00.000+09:00

That Friday, under cover of darkness, you and the director sneak off to Ulsan with your belongings, leaving behind a letter to the owner telling him you have returned to your home country. You feel a bit guilty for lying to him and leaving so abruptly, but also feel that if you didn't take this opportunity you would regret it forever.

You get to Ulsan and set up in your new apartment, which is only marginally nicer than your other one, but significantly smaller.

The next day, you meet the owner of the school and find out that you will be teaching a class immediately. The day being Saturday and you being in the city less than a day as well as not having signed a contract or even seen any of the promises that have been made on paper has you feeling suspicious. The director assures you that it is ok and you reluctantly teach the class.

Over the next week you are supremely overworked and still have yet to see, never mind sign, a contract. It becomes clear that you, and likely the director, have been duped. There will be no trip to Japan, higher pay, or extra vacation time. In fact, there may be no pay at all.

Your suspicions deepen when you go to talk to the owner and he just smiles and tells you he'll pay you later, the contract is still being written up, and the trip to Japan will be delayed until the contract is finished. He tells you this everyday for two and a half weeks. At that point you tell him your suspicions. He smiles again and tells you that if you are unhappy, you can leave.

You leave. You try to get you Miryang job back but the owner is very angry at you and doesn't want you back.

Lacking any other viable option, you return home, sheepish and humbled.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T19:06:00.000+09:00

He says that would be impossible. You tell him that is not your problem and that he must follow the contract to the letter. He grows angry, as do you. Things escalate and, in anger, he starts punching you. You punch right back. The fighting continues for some time until another teacher breaks it up. The police are called and the owner gives them some story about you trying to rob him. They believe this and you are taken to jail. Immigration is contacted and you are sent home in shame.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T18:43:00.000+09:00

The class with the doctors is great. You get driven out through the mountains to a small hot springs resort town three times a week. They feed you lunch and are eager to discuss the lessons, which are mostly free talking. So, it basically amounts to getting paid $300 a month to have lunch with, and talk to, friends.

Time passes quickly. Five, six, seven months you've been in Korea now and things are going surprisingly well. The extra money you are getting from the doctor class allows you some financial freedom from you student loans, teaching is getting easier and easier and the students are all, more or less, responsive to you and progressing nicely. Not only are your language-teaching skills improving, but you find that, through sheer immersion, you are rapidly learning Korean. You can easily read and pronounce all the characters and are developing a decent vocabulary. The grammar is coming along more slowly, but you are well on your way to becoming able to converse on at least a basic level.

As well, your social life has been great for a couple of months now. You were discovered by some other foreigners living in town and spend much of your free time with them.

On top of that, you've become close friends with a couple of your adult students and even formed a band with them. You have played a few shows around town with plans to try your luck in Busan and Daegu soon.

Your work environment is very casual and you get along very well with your fellow teachers and the director.

Thus, it comes as a complete surprise to you when, near the end of your seventh month, the director tells you she is leaving the school for a different one in Ulsan. She tells you this in secret, as she wants you to come with her. She tells you that the pay is higher, the apartment nicer, and the vacation time more extensive. As well, they would even throw in a free trip to Japan for you, ostensibly to get a new work visa, but they would pay for a few extra nights and buy your food as a bonus for defecting to them. You:

jump at the opportunity and immediately prepare to leave.

tell her you need to think about it.

tell her how tempting it is, but that you are pretty happy with how things are here and would rather stay than uproot yourself at this point.

2005-05-22T18:32:00.000+09:00

You manage to get them up to 300,000 won and 150,000 won for the doctors and the local class, respectively, and agree to teach them.

The class with the doctors is great. You get driven out through the mountains to a small hot springs resort town three times a week. They feed you lunch and are eager to discuss the lessons, which are mostly free talking. So, it basically amounts to getting paid $300 a month to have lunch with, and talk to, friends.

The class at the other school is another story altogether. It is awful. The number of students in the class varies from 2-12 throughout your time teaching it and you never know beforehand how many will show up. The textbook chosen is ancient and absolutely terrible. Those students who do show up don't talk and it is a frustrating struggle every night to get through the class. Despite this, you decide to see it through, as the extra cash is coming in handy.

Soon enough, you realize that you have been in Korea for six months. It went by pretty quickly.

Along with this realization comes the additional realization that, of the five times pay day has rolled around, only once have you been paid on time. You've been paid in full every time, just never all of it at the same time or on time.

Pay day number six arrives and you feel it is time something is done about this, should the pattern continue. You walk into the owners office and, unsurprisingly, he informs you that he doesn't have it all for you but will before the end of the week. You:

sigh, and accept the partial payment, knowing that you will be paid in full, eventually.

tell him, in exasperation, that he must pay you on time, every time, from now on or you will hold him in breech of contract.

2005-05-22T18:25:00.000+09:00

You manage to squeeze an extra 50,00 won out of them and agree to teach the extra class.

It is awful. The number of students in the class varies from 2-12 throughout your time teaching it and you never know beforehand how many will show up. The textbook chosen is ancient and absolutely terrible. Those students who do show up don't talk and it is a frustrating struggle every night to get through the class.

After a few weeks, you decide it isn't worth it and quit the class.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T18:17:00.000+09:00

You enjoy the doctor class immensely, but the evening class is a complete drag. A few weeks into these jobs it comes to light that your school is getting close to 1,500,000 won from the doctors and the other school, but only gives you 300,000 of that. You decide that you should have a bigger cut of this and confront the director about this. She, along with the owner, tell you that they don't have to give you any of it and you should be happy with this.

But, you are not happy. Their explanation and arrogance irritate you and you let them know. They decide that enough is enough and threaten to report you to immigration for accepting work outside of your contract, a breech of the visa rules.

Things escalate and, in the end, a mutual parting is agreed upon. You go home, they find a new teacher.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T18:11:00.000+09:00

The director nods in understanding and you continue as you were before. As time passes, though, you realize that, despite the free rent and cheap food, you are having trouble making your student loan payments, etc., at home. You ask your director if there is a chance you could still get these jobs. She tells you that after you declined them, they were offered to another teacher who took them.

Despondent about your financial state and increasingly worn down by culture shock, you think long and hard about your situation. You eventually come to the conclusion that this is all not worth it. You go home, move back in with your parents and work multiple crappy jobs to pay your loans.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T18:01:00.000+09:00

The next few weeks pass by with you feeling more and more comfortable in your new surroundings and at your new job. At times it can get you really frustrated and homesick, but for the most part, all is going well.

Teaching, while not really what you want to do forever,is turning out to be just like most other jobs; repetitive, unexciting, and easy to ignore when you aren't working.

One day, towards the end of your fourth month in Korea, the director offers you an opportunity. She tells you that there is a group of doctors in a nearby town who want you to come to them a few mornings a week to teach them English. As well, another school in town would like you to come to their school for an hour every evening for another class. Your school offers you 200,000 won/month for the doctor class and 100,000 won/month for the other one. You:

haggle a bit over the pay, but accept both jobs.

decide to turn both jobs down as your current work already leaves you rather tired at the end of the day.

take both jobs, no questions asked.

negotiate the fee and take the doctor class, but turn down the other one.

negotiate the fee and take the local class, but turn down the doctor class.

2005-05-22T17:46:00.000+09:00

The train ride back is pretty brutal as, not only are you exhausted and that horrible combination of still slightly drunk/newly hungover, but the train is crammed to capacity and you bought your ticket too late to get a seat.

However, it isn't a long ride and soon enough you arrive back in Miryang, get a taxi, and get up to your room. Completely drained, you climb into bed and sleep the day away.

The next few weeks pass by with you feeling more and more comfortable in your new surroundings and at your new job. At times it can get you really frustrated and homesick, but for the most part, all is going well.

Teaching, while not really what you want to do forever,is turning out to be just like most other jobs; repetitive, unexciting, and easy to ignore when you aren't working.

One day, towards the end of your fourth month in Korea, the director offers you an opportunity. She tells you that there is a group of doctors in a nearby town who want you to come to them a few mornings a week to teach them English. As well, another school in town would like you to come to their school for an hour every evening for another class. Your school offers you 200,000 won/month for the doctor class and 100,000 won/month for the other one. You:

haggle a bit over the pay, but accept both jobs.

decide to turn both jobs down as your current work already leaves you rather tired at the end of the day.

take both jobs, no questions asked.

2005-05-22T17:27:00.000+09:00

After a few more hours, you are pretty wiped out and figure a soft bed would be very welcome. You inquire amongst the people you've been chatting with and get directions to a good place nearby.

You wake up fairly late the next morning but that was to be expected. Thankfully, you have managed to avoid a hangover, though you aren't feeling exceptionally bright.

You head out for some breakfast and, feeling pretty good, go for a wander.

The day is beautiful and you find that Busan is a rather interesting city. By evening you figure you should probably head home.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T17:22:00.000+09:00

You wander around the area, half-drunkenly trying to find a place to stay. You spot one soon enough but, as you make your way over to it, a man grabs you and pulls you into an alley. He demands, in clear English, your wallet and passport. Wisely, you think, you didn't bring your passport with you and tell him that. He doesn't believe you and stabs you repeatedly, making off with your money, jacket, and life.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T17:19:00.000+09:00

You find a comfy chair, settle in and wait it out. The time passes slowly and you sleep fitfully.

The trains start up and, stiff and sore from a night spent drinking/dancing and sleeping awkwardly in a train station chair, you board the train home.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T17:17:00.000+09:00

You manage to catch the last subway back to the train station but, when you get there, find that you have missed the last train home. You:

go get a hotel room.

camp out at the train station until they start running again.

2005-05-22T17:09:00.000+09:00

He is clearly put in his place by the director and from then on responds well to you. Your confidence as a teacher grows.

On Friday, you decide to celebrate your successful first week of teaching by catching a train to Busan for a night or two on the town.

Bringing along your trusty guide book, you find yourself a cheap and clean, if somewhat cramped and unadorned, place to stay as well as many things to do and see. On Saturday, you relinquish your room on the premise that you may go home that night or, if not, you can easily find another one.

The sightseeing goes well and that night you decide to check out the bar scene. It turns out to be great and you see your first non-Korean faces since arriving in Asia. You try a few bars, drinking beer and listening to live bands and talking to a group of other foreigners.

After a while, the bands stop playing and the dancing begins. Having reached that not-quite-drunk-but-certainly-not-sober state that gives one a sense of brash self-confidence and energy, you decide to join in. You dance for a few hours, then realize you need to decide what to do as far as the rest of the night is concerned. You decide:

to stay out until exhaustion overwhelms you, then catch the first train back home.

to call it a night and get a hotel room.

to keep going for the time being and get a hotel room when needed.

2005-05-22T16:56:00.000+09:00

Being a six-year-old Korean boy, all he can tell is that you aren't happy about what he did but doesn't understand a word of what you are telling him. It is enough, however, to get him to behave for the rest of the class. He does, however, remain a nuisance for his entire tenure as your student.

Due to this and the general apathy that becomes more and more apparent among most of your students you decide to dedicate more of your energy into things outside the school and less to those in school.

You decide to begin this by taking a trip to the nearby city of Busan on the weekend, leaving on Friday night after work.

Bringing along your trusty guide book, you find yourself a cheap and clean, if somewhat cramped and unadorned, place to stay as well as many things to do and see. On Saturday, you relinquish your room on the premise that you may go home that night or, if not, you can easily find another one.

The sightseeing goes well and that night you decide to check out the bar scene. It turns out to be great and you see your first non-Korean faces since arriving in Asia. You try a few bars, drinking beer and listening to live bands and talking to a group of other foreigners.

After a while, the bands stop playing and the dancing begins. Having reached that not-quite-drunk-but-certainly-not-sober state that gives one a sense of brash self-confidence and energy, you decide to join in. You dance for a few hours, then realize you need to decide what to do as far as the rest of the night is concerned. You decide:

that, though you are having a good time, it is probably time to head to the train station and home.

to stay out until exhaustion overwhelms you, then catch the first train back home.

to call it a night and get a hotel room.

2005-05-22T16:50:00.000+09:00

The commotion caused by your incoherent bellowing and his baffled sobs draw the director, all the students and other teachers, and even a few passersby to the scene. The Korean teachers pull the boy away and try to comfort him while the director takes you into her office. You attempt to explain yourself, but your actions spoke louder. She tells you that this kind of behaviour from you is intolerable, regardless of what the child did. You are fired and sent home.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T16:37:00.000+09:00

You wake up the next day feeling a bit rough, but not as bad as you had expected. You decide that soju, while fun and cheap, is certainly not something you want to drink frequently.

You spend the day casually organizing your place and doing some laundry.

You wake up the next morning ready to dive into teaching. You head downstairs at about 12:30 and are given a briefing on the books/levels of each class, told the names of your students and the class sizes. Feeling prepared, you start your day.

It goes well. The students were receptive and appeared to be eager to learn. That is, all except one child who seemed to be trying to anger you. In fact, on Thursday you catch him in the act of flipping you off. In response to this you:

explode in a rage and drag this six-year-old brat outside the classroom to berate him loudly.

control your irritation, thinking that he is only six and that flipping someone off may not have the same meaning in Korea, and firmly tell him to never do that again.

tell him to stop, make him sit at the front of the class with you, then take him to the director after class to have her explain why he shouldn't do that.

2005-05-22T16:18:00.000+09:00

The sun is a jagged rock pounding against your head. You lift your eyelids, then immediately snap them shut again. Sluggishly, your brain begins to function. After a period of time you recall that you are in Korea and that you went out the previous night. You also deduce that you are lying, fully clothed (shoes included), on your stomach, on top of your bedspread. Rolling onto your side causes your stomach to gurgle, but other than that and the fact that your head feels like it could burst at any moment, you are intact and, unfortunately, not going to die.

Eventually, you acquire the gumption and balance to stand up. You decide to go to the fridge to get some water, absently noting the trail of bread crusts from the bed to the kitchen. The water is bliss and the ibuprofen glorious. Within a half hour, in which time you unsuccessfully attempt to figure out the reason for the bread crusts and the loaf of bread wedged into the chair, you begin to feel human again. You jam a few squished slices of bread into the toaster and spend the rest of the day rehydrating and staring at nothing in particular. You vow to never drink soju again, a vow at which the realist part of your brain chuckles.

Despite the fact that you have only been awake a few hours, when the sun sets, so do you.

You wake up the next morning feeling much better and ready to face your first day of teaching.

Teaching turns out to be you, thrown naked and defenseless to various packs of energetic or apathetic wolves. At the end of the day, you are absolutely exhausted but feel that it was a success because more kids smiled (2) than cried (1).

By Thursday, you have grown considerably more comfortable, but reach the conclusion that one child in specific is trying to anger you. So far, he is succeeding. In fact, when you teach him that day, you catch him in the act of flipping you off. You:

explode in a rage and drag this six-year-old brat outside the classroom to berate him loudly.

control your irritation, thinking that he is only six and that flipping someone off may not have the same meaning in Korea, and firmly tell him to never do that again.

2005-05-22T15:54:00.000+09:00

The various alcohols in your system battle with, and defeat, your powers of reason.

You decide you need to see the ocean and there is nothing anyone can say to change your mind. Before long, you find yourself on a bus to the coast, which is about an hour away. You've stocked up on beer to keep yourself going. Your friend declined to come with you.

The bus reaches its destination and, still hammered beyond sensibility, you get yourself on a ferry to somewhere you have never heard of. You take a seat and almost immediately pass out.

A few hours later you wake up with a monstrous headache and feeling very queasy. You soon realize that your queasiness is not caused solely by your intemperance the previous evening. The boat you are on, which you don't remember boarding or even why you would be on one at all, is caught in a fairly severe storm. There are only two other passengers and they look extremely frightened.

The storm and the horrible boat ride seem interminable. The sun sets and you realize that the boat may be lost at sea.

Sometime during the sleepless night, lights flash outside and you see the silhouettes of approaching ships. You are saved!

Unfortunately, they turn out to be the North Korean Navy. You and the other passengers are placed under arrest and spend the rest of your lives on work farms in the remote mountains of North Korea.

This adventure, sadly, never ends.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T15:38:00.000+09:00

The tequila shots come fast and furious and, between every two or three, you have a beer. It doesn't take long before you are both completely smashed. You talk loudly, laugh a lot, and keep drinking. Soon, the tequila is replaced by shots of bad whiskey, then more soju, all while still consuming the occasional beer.

Your body isn't used to this and lets you know this early and often. You choose to ignore it. After a few hours, it can take it no more and you pass out. Your drinking buddy drags you home and tosses you onto your bed.

You don't wake up. Alcohol poisoning takes you away.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T15:36:00.000+09:00

The whiskey is expensive, but tastes great after the soju. The two of you spend the rest of the evening sipping whiskey and getting slowly, pleasantly, drunk.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T15:35:00.000+09:00

You find that you have developed a taste for soju, or at least it starts to taste better the more of it you drink. The night passes quickly and full of laughter and animated talking, made that much more animated by the drunken hand gestures to get points across when language fails both of you. Eventually, enough is enough and you stumble home, very drunk.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T15:31:00.000+09:00

You find that you have developed a taste for this liquor, or at least it starts to taste better the more of it you drink. The night passes quickly and full of laughter and animated talking, made that much more animated by the drunken hand gestures to get points across when language fails both of you. Eventually, enough is enough and you stumble home, very drunk.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T15:27:00.000+09:00

Within a short amount of time after you start drinking beer, you lose the ability to hold your head up. This is duly noted by your drinking partner who then guides you home.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T15:26:00.000+09:00

That Saturday, you are introduced to another teacher who only teaches on weekends. He invites you out for dinner and you gladly accept, having become extremely bored with sandwiches and ramen noodles and even more bored with eating by yourself.

He meets you after he finishes his class and takes you out for bulgogi (Korean BBQ). You find that you really like the idea of wrapping your food in a leaf, but find it odd that you have to cook it yourselves.

Along with the food, your new friend orders some soju, a clear alcohol with a chemical, but sweet-ish flavour. He continually announces "Bottoms up!" after each pouring and refills your shot glass immediately after you have drained it. He is clearly enjoying himself, and the soju goes quickly.

After a short while, the food and two bottles of soju are consumed. He suggests you move on to another locale for more drinking. Despite the amount of soju you've had, you aren't feeling drunk at all and readily agree.

He takes you to a nearby pub and asks what you would like to drink. You have:

beer.

soju.

whiskey.

tequila.

all of the above.

2005-05-22T15:14:00.000+09:00

On Saturday, you are introduced to another teacher who only teaches on weekends. He invites you out for dinner and you gladly accept, having become extremely bored with sandwiches and ramen noodles and even more bored with eating by yourself.

He meets you after he finishes his class and takes you out for bulgogi (Korean BBQ). You find that you really like the idea of wrapping your food in a leaf, but find it odd that you have to cook it yourselves.

Along with the food, your new friend orders some soju, a clear alcohol with a chemical, but sweet-ish flavour. He continually announces "Bottoms up!" after each pouring and refills your shot glass immediately after you have drained it. He is clearly enjoying himself, and the soju goes quickly.

After a short while, the food and two bottles of soju are consumed. He suggests you move on to another locale for more drinking. Despite the amount of soju you've had, you aren't feeling drunk at all and readily agree.

He takes you to a nearby pub and asks what you would like to drink. You have:

beer.

soju.

whiskey.

tequila.

all of the above.

2005-05-22T14:35:00.000+09:00

You have a restful night and spend a relaxing Sunday exploring the area around your apartment and school.

At 10:00 on Monday morning, you head downstairs to see if anyone is around the school. There is not, so you wander over to a restaurant you found, have some breakfast (gimbap and mandu, aka Korean sushi rolls and steamed dumplings), then go to the bank to open an account and cash your remaining travelers cheques.

Afterward, it's back to the school where you are told that you and the other teachers will be doing recruiting this week as your school isn't open yet and has no students. You are surprised, but can only agree to go along. You mention the broken washing machine and the director calls someone to repair it. She says it will be fixed by evening.

Recruiting consists of smiling, saying "hello" ad nauseum, and handing out rulers. The Koreans do more, but that's your task and you do it well.

The week passes quickly and even has a national holiday in the middle which you use for more exploring.

By the end of the week, you are feeling pretty good about things and ready to start teaching come Monday.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T14:14:00.000+09:00

You decide that this is more than enough activity for your first full day in Korea and go to bed.

Sleep comes, then goes, and so does the rest of the weekend. You spend Sunday lightly exploring the area around your house and school, but not doing much else.

Monday arrives and you head to the school at about 11:00 am. The director is there and, eventually, so are the Korean teachers. It is at this point that you are informed that the school hasn't actually opened for business yet and you, along with everyone else, will spend the week in different parts of town trying to recruit students.

It turns out that, for you, recruiting students consists of smiling a lot, saying "hello" until the word loses all meaning, and handing out rulers.

The week passes quickly, and you even get a national holiday in the middle of it, which you use to do more exploring.

On Friday, you ask the director and the owner about the washing machine situation and are told that it is too much trouble to get one. You will either have to use the expensive drycleaner down the road or hand wash everything. They tell you that they put the money for the machine into a computer and internet for your place instead. You:

tell them, in no uncertain terms, that you cannot and will not stay here without a washing machine.

grudgingly accept the computer and internet and resign yourself to a year of hand washing your clothes.

2005-05-22T14:09:00.000+09:00

You manage to catch the director and the delivery guys as they are leaving. They come up and check out the problem. It appears the machine is defective. The delivery guys hand you your clothes and wheel the machine away. Laundry convenience will just have to wait.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-22T14:02:00.000+09:00

No variation of button pressing seems to do the trick and all the connections appear to be fully intact. Every time you push "start," all it does is shudder and beep. You start to get frustrated.

Soon, you find yourself kicking at the machine in a rage brought on by its recalcitrance and your own feelings of cultural confusion. It all culminates in a thorough shaking of the machine, causing a connection to break and water to spray everywhere. You slip, grab at the machine to hold yourself up but only manage to bring it down with you. Your chest is crushed and you die a painful, gasping death.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-22T13:52:00.000+09:00

The sandwich is horrible, banana flavouring making it that much more so. Still, you eat it all due to your hunger and lack of other resources. You do, however, vow to never again touch the banana mayonnaise.

This promise turns out to be rather easy to keep. In your close inspection of the bottle prior to ingestion, you failed to note the expiration date, which was two months previous. Somehow, it had slipped past the notice of the store as well and ended up in your digestive tract.

You spend the night in excruciating discomfort and are found by the director the next morning, dead from botulism.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T19:19:00.000+09:00

After a short, refreshing nap, you are hungry and fix yourself a bowl of noodles and a sandwich. They satisfy you fully.

Shortly thereafter, the director comes up with a pair of delivery guys and a washing machine. They put it in the dishwashing/bath room and hook it up.

Of course, you immediately want to use it. You have only been here a day and a night now, but you gather together a small pile of dirty clothes and toss in the bedsheets for good measure along with some soap they thoughtfully gave you.

The machine shudders a bit when you push the start button, beeps for a good minute or so, then stops functioning altogether. You now have a pile of dry clothes covered in powdered soap in an elaborate tub in your bathroom. You:

fiddle with the connections and press a variety of button combinations in the hopes of making it work.

shrug and decide to leave laundry until you can get someone to fix it.

go downstairs to see if you can get someone to help you.

2005-05-21T19:06:00.000+09:00

The rest of the shopping proceeds uneventfully and you make it back to your new home with enough groceries to get you through the weekend, even if it will be only sandwiches and beer.

Feeling exhausted, you thank your fellow teacher for helping you out and then go have a nap.

The nap refreshes you and you wake up fully alert and exceedingly hungry, so you begin the sandwich preparations.

The tubed sausage turns out to be bright pink and the consistency of play-dough left out of the container for too long. Figuring that it certainly isn't "ready-to-eat," you fry it up. Despite oiling the pot (you have no pans), it sticks to the bottom as if pulled there by a powerful "meat" magnet. Shrugging, you scrape the mangled mass onto some bread, slice some tomatoes, and wash some lettuce. After applying the requisite vegetation, you go about slopping on some mayo. Then comes the mustard. Still curious about it, you scan the bottle more closely. The bananas pictured on it soon give away the fact that it is not mustard at all, but banana-flavoured mayonnaise. You:

shrug again and liberally apply it to your already unappetizing creation.

sigh, toss it aside, and eat your sandwich mustard, and banana, free.

2005-05-21T19:00:00.000+09:00

It doesn't take that long, in fact, to find some. It's packaged a little differently, in a toothpaste-like tube and box, but it is clearly labeled in English as "mustard." Satisfied, you continue your shopping, buying such things as ramen noodles, canned tuna, juice, and water. You finish with more than enough to get you through. You pay, call for your ride, and arrive back at your new home feeling relaxed, if a little sleepy.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-21T18:55:00.000+09:00

Upon closer inspection, you note that the lid is shaped like a ducks head and there are pictures of bananas on the bottle. You point this out to your guide and he chuckles a bit, looks at the bottle, then tells you that it is actually banana-flavoured mayonnaise. You put it back on the shelf and:

decide that mustard really isn't all that important and move on to other shopping.

search a little longer for the ever-elusive mustard.

2005-05-21T18:49:00.000+09:00

He gets really angry at you for doubting him and storms off, leaving you alone and confused in a foreign grocery store. You decide that, if he is that sensitive about it, he probably isn't that secure about himself and you take an even closer look at the "mustard." It is then that you see the bananas on the bottle. Clearly, it is not mustard. You put it back on the shelf, at the same time coming to the conclusion that all his food suggestions are suspect and decide to put them all back, too. You then begin to do your shopping alone.

Click here to continue

2005-05-21T18:43:00.000+09:00

The shopping goes well the rest of the way and you make your way back to your new home.

Despite sleeping late and not really doing much all day, you are exhausted and take a nap.

A few hours later, you wake up hungry, and decide to give the new groceries a spin.

You have the worst sandwich of your life. The only thing you can think of is how much more palatable it would have been with mustard. You decide to go back to the store immediately to get some, regardless of how long it takes to find.

It takes even longer than expected. In fact, you never do find any. It was dark when you left and, in your haste, you failed to look both ways when crossing the road. Obviously, this was a mistake, and a fast moving scooter makes you pay for it with your life.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T18:39:00.000+09:00

The lid is shaped like a ducks head, but that's about the only thing you can decipher from it as all the writing is in Korean. You pass it over to your grocery guide for him to look at. He takes it and puts it into the cart without looking at it and assures you, in a slightly petulant manner, that it is mustard. You:

take it back out and make him read it, just to be sure.

figure that, mustard or not, it doesn't really matter and move on to other things.

2005-05-21T18:23:00.000+09:00

You get to the store and are quickly overwhelmed by the unfamiliar foods. Some things look recognizable, but it's hard to say for sure what they are as all things are, obviously, labeled in Korean. Luckily, you have a guide with you.

However, you soon discover that his taste in food is vastly different from your own. Aside from bread, beer, lettuce, and tomato, which are all perfectly fine, he recommends you buy some rather iffy looking tubed sausage. The colour of the sausage on the package is that of skin which hasn't seen the sun in years. He assures you that it is actually a rather bright pink. You decline and get some sliced ham instead.

It is clear from the items in your cart that sandwiches are to be the sole item on the menu for you this weekend and you decide that some condiments would be in order. You get some mayo, decline the ketchup, and search for mustard. A bottle near the mayo looks promising and your guide takes it down and puts it in your cart. You:

pick up the bottle and look more closely at it.

continue shopping.

take the bottle out of the cart and have him translate what the label says.

2005-05-21T18:15:00.000+09:00

Bringing along someone who knows what things are, or at least appears to, seems to be a good decision. His taste in food is clearly of the simple kind as he guides you to bread, sausage, lettuce, and tomato. Sandwiches it is.

You mention that you might want something to drink and perhaps some condiments for your sandwiches. He nods and brings you over to the wall of alcohol. You were thinking more along the lines of water or juice, but figure there's no time like the present to delve into the world of Korean beer and grab two large bottles.

He then wheels you over to the condiments. Mayo is easy enough to find, as is ketchup, but the mustard proves elusive. After a short search, a yellow bottle is located on a high shelf in the general vicinity of the mayo. Your guide assures you it is mustard. You:

accept his word and take one.

study the bottle more closely.

decide that mustard really isn't that important and move on to other things, leaving the bottle on the shelf.

2005-05-21T18:07:00.000+09:00

Nothing at the store makes any sense to you. The vegetables are completely unfamiliar, the meat looks frightening, and the dairy products are incomprehensible. On top of that, you can't figure out how much any of this stuff costs.

You wheel about the store with your cart for a few hours, randomly picking things up that look at least vaguely familiar.

In the end, you leave the store with a 5-pack of ramen noodles, some fresh clams, tomatoes, bread, butter, and beer.

You get home tired and hungry and decide that noodles with clams would be quick, easy, and tasty. This turns out to be true.

However, an hour or so afterward, your stomach starts to hurt. You spend the night in severe discomfort. You should have left the clams until last instead of walking around the store with them for three hours.

The next morning you are found by the director, dead from food poisoning.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T17:59:00.000+09:00

You get downstairs and are immensely relieved that your Korean friends are there. You explain your situation and they are immediately sympathetic. Your director bundles you into her car and takes you to McDonald's. While it wouldn't have been your first choice, you eat hungrily and happily.

Afterward, you return to the school and a small loan of money is given to you so you can get some groceries. One of your fellow teachers volunteers to take you to the store and help you out.

You are grateful, but feel they have done enough for you already with the McMeal and the loan. You decline and say you'd like to try it on your own.

Grateful for the help, you accept and make your way to the store.

2005-05-21T17:50:00.000+09:00

You wander around, fruitlessly searching for somewhere, anywhere, that takes travelers cheques. You try rundown shack-like restaurants, comfy lounge-like spots, McDonald's, and even street vendors, all with no luck. Every place you go to smells absolutely wonderful and your hunger intensifies.

Finally, you decide the smartest thing to have done would have been to go to the school and get someone there to help you out until you can cash your cheques, so you turn to go back.

Unfortunately, you have wandered far and long and taken so many twists and turns that you have no idea how to get back. You search and search, but can't find your way and it is starting to get dark.

You find yourself walking by a river, along a narrow pathway. Clearly, this is not where you want to be, but at the far end is more of the city. You inch your way along, but it is slippery and the going is slow.

Suddenly, a bird launches from the trees, startling you and causing you to lose your footing. You flail a bit, then plunge into the water, hitting your head on a jagged rock.

You drown. The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T15:35:00.000+09:00

You wake up the next morning feeling refreshed, but very hungry. You quickly realize that it is, in fact, no longer morning, but 12:05 pm. Unable to figure out the heating controls, you take a cold shower and head downstairs.

The school's director and fellow teachers are all at the school and greet you enthusiastically. You tell them, in response to their inquiries, that you had a great sleep but are now quite hungry. The director immediately bundles you into her car and takes you to McDonald's. This is not exactly what you wanted for your first meal of the day, or second in Korea, but you are famished and dive right in.

Satisfied and full, you are taken back to the school. You chat a bit with everyone, then suggest that a trip to the grocery store would be a good idea.

All agree. The director offers you her cell phone so you can call her for a ride when you are done and a fellow teacher offers to come along to help out. You:

gratefully accept both offers and head out.

accept the offer of the other teacher, but decline the cell phone and ride as she has already helped you out enough for one day.

decide you'd rather try this out on your own, just to see if you can do it.

2005-05-21T15:27:00.000+09:00

You sleep like the dead until noon then suddenly wake up, fully alert and extremely hungry.

Immediately, you realize your predicament. You have no cash, only travelers cheques, and it's Saturday, thus the banks are closed.

Not understanding the apartment heating system, you take a quick, cold shower and ponder your choices on how to feed yourself. There aren't many.

After the shower, you decide to:

wander about the city, hoping to find a restaurant that takes travelers cheques.

go downstairs to the school and hope there is someone there who can help you.

2005-05-21T15:17:00.000+09:00

Looking startled and irritated at your rather imperious demand, they pull out a copy of the contract and point out that it says nothing about laundry facilities. They recommend you hand wash your clothing.

You grow angry and state that it is expected that a person be able to wash their clothes in a machine while here for a year and that there is no way you will stay without one.

They pull back and huddle up to discuss the situation. After a short talk, they present their conclusion:

"Frankly speaking, if it is not in the contract, it is not our responsibility. It is obvious that you are going to be troublesome and argumentative about every little thing while here and we have decided that it isn't going to work. We are terminating your contract and putting you back on a plane home in the morning."

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T15:06:00.000+09:00

Your companions insist that you eat, but you continue to refuse. The food looks so unappealing that your appetite has disappeared entirely.

You sullenly lean back in your chair and watch everyone at your table talk and eat. You feel completely out of place. You understand nothing of what they say, the food looks terrible, and all the frustrations of the day come flooding back to you. You decide that it isn't worth it.

You wait for them to finish eating, allow them to take you into Miryang and your apartment. Once there, you tell them you are too tired for anything else. They nod and go. You wait an hour or so then quietly gather all your things and make your way to a taxi. Consulting your guide book, you decide to go to the train station and then to the Busan airport. From there, you use your remaining travelers cheques to purchase a standby plane ticket home, via Japan. Within a few hours, you are gone.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T14:58:00.000+09:00

It is delicious. You enjoy every bite. The unidentifiable meaty bits turn out to be seafood and the sauce is a tasty seasoned soy. You stuff yourself silly to your companions obvious enjoyment.

After the meal you feel much better. The frustrations from earlier in the day fall away. On the ride into Miryang. You begin to feel sleepy again. You manage to stay awake, though.

Soon enough, you arrive and are shown your place. You're so tired at that point that all you see is the bed. You vaguely hear them say something about having no laundry facilities. You:

ignore it for now and tell them you'd like to get some sleep.

snap back into wakefulness and state that it would be impossible to live here without a washing machine. In your exhausted state, you become rapidly irritable and demand that they acquire one immediately.

2005-05-21T14:52:00.000+09:00

They chuckle at your request and call the waitress over. She smiles as they ask her to get you a fork and goes to retrieve one. She soon returns and reaches across the table to hand it to you. As you reach to take it, your sleeve brushes the candle and bursts into flames. Surprised and alarmed, you flail about, fanning the flames and igniting the papered walls around you.

In an extremely brief amount of time the entire building and everyone in it is engulfed in smoke and fire.

Your adventure, and that of everyone else in the restaurant, is over. Way to go.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T14:40:00.000+09:00

You spend a sleepless night alone in a tourist hotel, the only one you could find that takes travelers cheques.

As the morning grows lighter, your mood grows darker. You sit on a chair, looking out the window at a dirty back alley, watching a drunken man stumble away, and listening to a pair of women argue loudly with each other about something completely incomprehensible to you.

You brood about what has happened so far on your journey. In your exhaustion and increasing depression, you decide that things are likely to continue on in this awful way and that it just isn't worth it.

You go back to the airport and use your remaining travelers cheques to purchase a plane ticket back to Seoul and a standby ticket home.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T14:34:00.000+09:00

The flight attendants are very nice about lending you a phone, but you are unable to get through. You give the phone back and thank them, then pace about the small airport looking for anything of interest. You find nothing.

Feeling sleepy, you sit down and wait.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-21T14:06:00.000+09:00

Before long, your greeting party arrives, very apologetic for being late. Introductions are made and you bags are packed into a car and you are driven off to a cozy, candle-lit restaurant just outside Ulsan. The sudden flurry of activity leaves you a little off balance and this, in combination with the sleepiness, makes you seem a bit stunned.

This doesn't deter your new Korean friends from asking you question after question during the car ride about your flight and your home and how you like Korea so far. It all overwhelms you. It becomes readily apparent that they are most curious about what you think about Korea. You try to explain that you haven't been here long enough to form any real opinions yet, but they don't understand what you mean. So, you tell them you love it here and they are satisfied.

The food arrives. It looks to you like a large, greasy mass of fried batter, spinach, and chunks of unidentifiable meaty bits, all squished and flattened into a large pancake. Your tablemates start breaking it up with their chopsticks then dipping it in sauce and eating it. They encourage you to do the same. You:

fumble a bit with the thin, metal chopsticks, but dig right in.

ask for a fork.

decline the food. Despite your hunger, it just looks too strange.

2005-05-21T13:43:00.000+09:00

The plane ride to Ulsan is a restful experience, just long enough to take a nap but not so long as to fall into a deep sleep. You arrive feeling refreshed and ready to begin your time here in earnest.

After retrieving your bags, you enter the arrivals area to be greeted heartily by a group of Koreans.

Their English is a little odd, but mostly understandable. They introduce themselves, take your bags and pack everyone into a car.

They explain to you that they will be taking you to your new place in Miryang, stopping for food along the way. The mention of food gets your stomach growling and you enthusiastically endorse their plan.

The restaurant you stop at is rather cozy. It is candle lit and has little pieces of paper with handwritten notes on them tacked to the walls. Your Korean entourage orders food and, before it arrives, explains what it will be and how to eat it. It's called pajeon and is known to many foreigners as "Korean pancake" or "Korean pizza." You decide that the Korean name is sufficient for you. It arrives and is a tasty, if slightly greasy meal. Fried batter with seafood and spinach mixed in, all dipped in a seasoned soy sauce never tasted better.

The meal is filled with laughter as everyone stumbles over each others language. You begin to pick up the tiniest amount of Korean. Not bad for your first night here.

After the meal, you are driven into Miryang and to your apartment. By this point, the days activity and excitement have taken their toll and you are pretty well exhausted.

They show you around the place. It's not fancy by any means, but it looks livable. You note the bizarre kitchen/bathroom and the lack of laundry facilities.

You ask right away about these and they, in their eagerness to please, immediately move the cooking utensils and gas stove to a room without a toilet and tell you that they will look into a washing machine for you, but that it will take some time and costs money. You:

are in such great spirits and are feeling generous that you offer them your remaining cash to get one as soon as possible, then tell them you are tired and go to bed.

are satisfied with this and decide to wait for them to find one. You feel tired and let them know this. They leave and you go to sleep.

tell them that it would be impossible for you to live here without laundry facilities and demand that they acquire a washing machine for you immediately.

2005-05-21T13:32:00.000+09:00

After the sun sets across the tarmac, a calm sleepiness overtakes you and, despite being a large chunk of money poorer, you feel pretty good about getting to your new home soon. Mostly, though, you just feel tired.

You spend the short flight slipping in and out of light sleep and arrive in Ulsan feeling groggy.

The airport is tiny and completely abandoned. Up until this very moment it hadn't occurred to you what to do once you were through with your flights. You had been under the assumption, naturally, that someone would be waiting for you upon your arrival, ready to whisk you off to your new lodgings, or at least to get some food and have a general introduction of sorts.

But, no. The airport is empty other than a group of flight attendants just getting off shift and talking on their cell phones.

Unsure what you are supposed to do, you:

sit down and wait for someone to come and get you.

dig through your backpack for the contact numbers you were given and ask one of the flight attendants if you can use her cell phone.

find a taxi that takes travelers cheques and make your way to a hotel for the night.

2005-05-21T13:18:00.000+09:00

You grow increasingly bitter as the fare continues the escalate, but still say nothing. Chastising yourself for allowing him to manipulate you like this, you sullenly tune out his sporadic and inane attempts at conversation.

Upon arrival at Gimpo, he cheerfully wheels your things to the Korean Air check in area and accepts the partial payment for the trip, understanding your lack of cash.

100,000 won lighter and feeling stupid, you go to the window to watch the sunset and wait for your flight to Ulsan to board.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-21T13:03:00.000+09:00

He gets angry and insists that he come with you to cash more travelers cheques. A palpable tension marks the remainder of the drive to the airport. He refuses to give you control of your luggage upon arrival until you pay him in full. You cash more travelers cheques at the terminal, thrust the fare at him, take your luggage cart and angrily storm away to brood for two hours until your flight to Ulsan leaves.

The two hours pass in a slow simmer as you stalk about the airport with an ever-growing rage.

When the time comes to board the plane, you push your way to the front of the crowd to get on the plane first. People look at you with undisguised disdain, but you don't care. All you want is to get on the plane and be done with traveling for the day.

Once on board, you take your seat on the aisle. Soon, a middle aged Korean business man reeking of alcohol takes the window seat next to you. Immediately, he opens his newspaper, rustling it loudly and taking up a good portion of your seat space as well as his own. He constantly clears his throat in a loud, hacking-up-a-hamster sort of way, and your anger grows to immense proportions.

After one exceedingly drawn-out throat clearing, you can take it no more. You grab his newspaper from him, yelling at him in an expletive filled tirade to, "stop with the @%$#& mucus!" and "sober the @%$& up!"

He has no idea what you are saying, only that you are clearly attacking him. He uses his knowledge of Taekwondo to defend himself, but due to his drunken state, underestimates both your closeness and his strength. The quick blow to your neck crushes your windpipe and you die a choking, angry death.

The adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T12:59:00.000+09:00

You leap out of the fast moving vehicle and tumble onto the freeway, breaking most of your bones and die a painful, twisted death under the wheels of a transport truck.

Your adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T12:42:00.000+09:00

Guards immediately run to the area. They talk to the man in the black uniform and he is very clearly confused by your reaction. You have no clue what they are saying, as they are speaking in Korean, and they talk for some time.

When they are finished questioning the uniformed man, the guards turn to you and motion for you to follow them.

You end up in the airport security office where you sit and wait for a good hour while they take care of more pressing business. When they finally get to you, they explain that they don't appreciate foreigners who make a scene in their airport or accuse legitimate taxi drivers of theft. They decide to go ahead with charges of disturbing the peace and you are remanded into the temporary custody of immigration. They inform your new employer of the situation and the decision is made to revoke your work visa and deport you back where you came from.

Your adventure is over.

Click here to start again.

2005-05-21T12:37:00.000+09:00

Giving the cart back to you, he tells you he is a limousine driver and at your service. The word "limousine" catches your ear and you ask him how much it would cost to get to Gimpo.

"$100," he replies.

Startled, you pull back and tell him you'll find another way there. He bows and goes off in search of another sucker.

It doesn't take you long to find the shuttle bus. Cheap and efficient, you get to the airport in plenty of time to check your bags and yourself in with Korean Air then sit by the big windows to relax and watch the sunset.

Click here to continue.

2005-05-21T12:27:00.000+09:00

He loads both you and your luggage into a black luxury SUV and begins the journey into Seoul and Gimpo Airport.

Your brain clicks back on as he merges onto the freeway and you see the rapidly rising total on the meter. When it hits 50,000won (~$50) you can hold back no longer and ask him if the price is correct. He nods. You ask him how much the total will be when you get to the airport. He says it will be around 120,000 won. You panic. You only cashed 100,000 won in travelers cheques and certainly didn't expect to spend it all on a taxi ride.

You:

open the door and jump out to make your escape from this exorbitant fee.

argue with the driver about this blatant gouging.

quietly seethe.

2005-05-21T10:19:00.000+09:00

The long flight is finally over. You look outside and see the mountains, the planes from such airlines as Asiana, Thai, and Air India, and think to yourself, "I'm actually in Asia. In a few minutes, I'll be walking on Korean dirt or tile or carpet or some such thing." While you attempt to grasp this new reality, the plane pulls up to the terminal and begins to unload.

Sluggishly, as the seemingly interminable time in the air and the three glasses of wine you drank conspire against you, you grab your bag from the overhead compartment and lurch toward the exit.

Carpet. Grey Korean low-pile carpet is your first Asian footfall. This and other similarly random and meaningless thoughts percolate through your prepared, yet thoroughly unprepared mind as you walk the concourse toward the baggage retrieval.

The various signs pointing the way are useless to you. This is not due to any language barrier, English is quite prominent, but because your brain has basically ceased to function on any level above simple locomotion. Thus, you find yourself in a sheep-like herd of fellow travelers, all silent except for the occasional bleat of uncertainty, wandering the maze of halls toward your luggage.

Slack-lipped, you stand at the carousel and await the arrival of your rather large trunk of clothes and gizmos you figured you would need to get you through a year in a foreign land. It appears much sooner than expected and, after a quick scramble to obtain a cart, you heft it off the belt and wheel it to customs.

At customs, the routine questions are asked and you reply automatically, if a bit slowly. Startlingly fast, though, you are through and come to the realization that you are now legally within Korea. As this dawns on you, you also come to the realization that you have to figure out how to get to the other airport to catch your flight to Ulsan. Then, in a snowball-like culmination of realizations, you realize that you currently only have travelers cheques and need to get some cash. Luckily, money changers are everywhere and are adept at handling befuddled foreigners. Cash in hand, or pocket as the case may be, you begin your search for transportation to Gimpo Airport.

Immediately upon exiting the main terminal, you are accosted by an extremely friendly man in a black uniform. He asks you where you are going and you tell him. He takes control of your luggage cart and starts to head outside. You:

mindlessly follow along.

ask him who he is and retake control of your cart.

scream in panic for security.